If you feel as though you don’t belong to this world, chances are high that the world actually needs you.
In the wake of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain’s suicides this week, I am compelled to reach out with support.
When you lose the will to live, what brings you back? How do you surf the waves of despair without getting pulled under – and how do you find the surface again when you’ve been submerged by a riptide?
It’s hard to talk about suicide directly. But here is one checklist method to help you stay on this side of the void and move past the initial impulse. It is by no means complete, but there’s merit to its simplicity.
1. Reach out to three people: call, text, message. The number is more or less arbitrary but its better to have at least three people on speed dial. A hotline can be one of those numbers. This is your safety net.
What if your phone is dead and you have no access to a computer? Lock into your breath and remain still. Try focusing on the feel and temperature of the air going into your nose.
Try noticing where the breath goes: your belly, your chest, your throat. Count even just to "one" and then repeat. This is a mindfulness exercise that helps bring your attention to the body and away from the workings of the mind.
It is unlikely that someone who is seriously suicidal will seek support in-person. For one thing, they’re already feeling done with the world. For another, it’s a very vulnerable situation to put yourself in. Many people are not equipped to aide in suicide prevention, and many people misunderstand suicidal ideation or intent to be selfish or a sign of weakness. It often takes training and/or a first-hand experience to be able to empathize on that level.
2. Remain very still. You cannot take a harmful action if you’re not moving. Again, lock into your breath.
3. Go through lists in your head:
• Who would I hurt unintentionally? (For instance: Are there kids in your life who would be crushed by your absence? Who are the innocent?)
• What do I need to finish before I die? (If you’re project-oriented or an artist, especially)
• What do I need right now: food (it’s likely), sleep (of course), water, warmth?
If you feel as though you don’t belong to this world, chances are high that the world actually needs you. So please hold onto whatever remaining will to live you have in the moment.
When you lose the will to live, what brings you back? How do you surf the waves of despair without getting pulled under – and how do you find the surface again when you’ve been submerged by a riptide?
It’s hard to talk about suicide directly. But here is one checklist method to help you stay on this side of the void and move past the initial impulse. It is by no means complete, but there’s merit to its simplicity.
1. Reach out to three people: call, text, message. The number is more or less arbitrary but its better to have at least three people on speed dial. A hotline can be one of those numbers. This is your safety net.
What if your phone is dead and you have no access to a computer? Lock into your breath and remain still. Try focusing on the feel and temperature of the air going into your nose.
Try noticing where the breath goes: your belly, your chest, your throat. Count even just to "one" and then repeat. This is a mindfulness exercise that helps bring your attention to the body and away from the workings of the mind.
It is unlikely that someone who is seriously suicidal will seek support in-person. For one thing, they’re already feeling done with the world. For another, it’s a very vulnerable situation to put yourself in. Many people are not equipped to aide in suicide prevention, and many people misunderstand suicidal ideation or intent to be selfish or a sign of weakness. It often takes training and/or a first-hand experience to be able to empathize on that level.
2. Remain very still. You cannot take a harmful action if you’re not moving. Again, lock into your breath.
3. Go through lists in your head:
• Who would I hurt unintentionally? (For instance: Are there kids in your life who would be crushed by your absence? Who are the innocent?)
• What do I need to finish before I die? (If you’re project-oriented or an artist, especially)
• What do I need right now: food (it’s likely), sleep (of course), water, warmth?
If you feel as though you don’t belong to this world, chances are high that the world actually needs you. So please hold onto whatever remaining will to live you have in the moment.
“In order to lead a fascinating life, one brimming with art, music, intrigue, and romance, you must surround yourself with precisely those things.” | "Maybe that's enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go." — Anthony Bourdain |
Hotlines:
US: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-8255
call or online chat
UK: Samaritans: 116123
Advice from attempt survivors:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/attempt-survivors
US: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-8255
call or online chat
UK: Samaritans: 116123
Advice from attempt survivors:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/attempt-survivors